Worship Team Awakenings....
Thursday, Jan. 19, 2006 @ 7:38 PM
So...about the whole worship team thing...I'm totally confused. I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time. Am I just wasting Andrew's time, Mary's time, my time, and Lori's time (she's especially short on time)? What are my motivations for leading this worship team? Is this really what God wants me to do? Is this really what I want to do?
Wow...something just hit me. Sometimes God asks us to do things that we don't want to do, but when He asks us to dedicate our time to a ministry it will be something that is fulfilling. It will be something that we will desire to do, because He will GIVE US THE DESIRE. If God wants me to do this, He will give me the desire to do this. There has only been one time when I've had the desire to do this. That was in December after Lori shared her heart in the matter.
But that's Lori's heart...is it mine?
I can't do something merely because it's a need that needs to be filled. If God's not calling me to this than it's not going to work out. And it hasn't been. Just because it's a ministry opportunity doesn't mean it's for me. It doesn't mean it's not either.
Have I been trying to do something that God's not wanting me to do?
Lord, where are You? What am I doing? Am I wasting Your time??????????????? Am I wasting everyone else's????????????
Katelyn, you tell me.
I've been trying to do this on my own, haven't I? I've been taking the easy way out, by sticking to it...saving my reputation. But, God, wouldn't it be easier to just not go to y/g, since I don't want to go? To not be involved???
Katelyn, the only reason you've been going to y/g is because of the worship team. If you're not committed to the youth group, do you really think you should be committed to a worship team that's part of the youth group???
Ouch.
Katelyn, I want what's best for you. Will you listen to me? Will you trust that I know what's best?
But, what about seeing Mary???? What then?
If you don't go to youth group or worship practice then you'll have time for her girls group. And Katelyn, y/g is wonderful and so is the worship team idea, but you've been holding on to this for too long. It's time to let go. Trust Me.
If you can't give everything, I don't want anything. It's all or nothing. And for this worship team, it's been more like nothing. I want you to give me your very best, not your half-hearted efforts. Trust Me. Just trust Me.
Okay, God. I'm sorry that I've made such a fool of myself and been so stupid. Give me the courage to talk to Lori and to do what's best for me, for them, for You. I'm sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. This is going to be a very humbling experience.
Thank You, Jesus.
Love,
Katelyn